Emergency Landings, Steep Turns and Sunglasses

Is there a rule somewhere in the FAA regulations that pilots must wear sunglasses at all times? Every time I walk past someone headed to their plane, they’re sporting a sweet pair of shades. Is the glare really that bad 5,000 feet? Or is it a tactic to hide bloodshot eyes? Or maybe pilots, like Secret Service agents, don’t want anyone to see where they’re looking.

Either way, it seems as though sunglasses are as much a part of flying airplanes as cigarettes and Jack Daniel’s are to playing rock guitar. So for the last two lessons I’ve been bringing along a cheap pair. I feel more like a pilot already.

That’s right, I said “two” lessons. Which means I didn’t update this site after every flight like I said I would. Why? Well, I’m lazy (like I said earlier). But more importantly, one of my flights sucked, and I didn’t think it was worthy of any attention what-so-ever.

But for those of you who are curious, here’s a recap:

Emergency Landings/Engine Failure

If my first try at this would have been a real emergency, you’d be reading my obituary on this page. We would have died. And not in a quick, humane way; more of a slow roast. Kevin tried cheering me up, because he’s nice like that, but it felt pretty crappy.

Steep Turns

Things are looking up – er, sideways. This was actually the first of a few skills Kevin taught me on the second flight, and it was reassuring to nail something pretty close to perfect on the first try – especially considering my dismal performance in the previous flight. Kevin even gave me a high five in the plane afterwords and said “But let’s see how good you really do” and cut the power to simulate an engine failure. So I picked a field, lined us up for an emergency landing and, as Kevin said afterwords, “Good, we would have lived through that.”

Must be the sunglasses.

S-Turns

If you’re a pilot, you know what these are. If you’re not, let me explain: have you ever watched a drunk guy try to walk a straight line? You know how he’ll veer off to one side, then the other, and do that over and over? That’s the idea of an S-Turn. But in an S-Turn you (hopefully) won’t ask out your best friend’s sister and/or throw up all over your shoes.

Landings

We haven’t really worked on these yet, but Kevin’s been letting me get a feel for the process. He’ll turn into the final leg, then let me try to put the plane down on the runway. It’s a pretty tough skill, namely because my brain is saying “Keep the nose down” but my ass is saying “Are you nuts? What are you doing in a plane?”

Next lesson is the traffic pattern, so just a warning to anyone flying out of the Caldwell Industrial Airport Thursday at 10 a.m.: wear your sunglasses.

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